64 Terms That Describe Gender Identity and Expression
64 Terms That Describe Gender Identity and Expression
Language and labels are important parts of understanding your gender and knowing how to be affirming and supportive of other people’s genders — but they can also be confusing.
There are so many gender terms out there, many of which overlap. Some also have definitions that shift over time or across different sources of information.
Thanks to the internet, we have more access to information, education, and visual representations of diverse genders — but comprehensive and inclusive resources about gender as a concept and this aspect of identity are still lacking.
Here, we attempt to bridge this gap by breaking down what many of these terms mean and how to use them.
Having language that helps demonstrate the many ways people experience, express, or identify their gender allows us to more clearly see and understand the entire gender spectrum — including and beyond the traditional binary gender categories of man and woman.
AFAB
Acronym meaning “assigned female at birth.”
Agender
Someone who doesn’t identify with the idea or experience of having a gender.
Aliagender
A nonbinary gender identity that doesn’t fit into existing gender schemas or constructs.
AMAB
Acronym meaning “assigned male at birth.”
Androgyne
Someone who has a gender presentation or identity that’s gender neutral, androgynous, or has both masculine and feminine characteristics.
Aporagender
Both an umbrella term and nonbinary gender identity that describes the experience of having a specific gender that’s different from male, female, or any combination of the two.
Bigender
This term describes someone who identifies with two distinct genders.
Bigender indicates the number of gender identities someone has.
It doesn’t indicate which genders someone identifies with or the level of identification they have with a particular gender (such as 50% male, 50% demigirl).
Binarism
Generally, binarism refers to the gender systems and schemas that are based on the existence of two opposing parts, such as male/female, man/woman, or masculine/feminine.
More specifically, binarism is a type of sexism that erases ethnic or culture-specific nonbinary gender roles and identities.
Body dysphoria
Body dysphoria is different from body dysphoric disorder.
It refers to a specific type of gender dysphoria that manifests as distress or discomfort with aspects of the body.
This may include anatomy, shape, size, chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics, or internal reproductive structures.
Boi
A term, primarily used in LGBTQIA+ communities, that typically describes someone who has a presentation, sexuality, or gender that’s considered “boyish.”
Butch
Primarily used in LGBTQIA+ communities, this term typically describes someone with a presentation, sexuality, or gender that’s considered masculine.
Butch doesn’t necessarily indicate the other terms that someone might use to describe their presentation, sexuality, or gender.
Cisgender
A term used to describe people who exclusively identify with their sex or gender assigned at birth.
Cisnormativity
The assumption that a person identifies with the sex or gender they were assigned at birth, or that having a cisgender gender identity is the norm.
Cissexism
A form of oppression that discriminates against those who aren’t cisgender.
Demiboy
This nonbinary gender identity describes someone who partially identifies as a boy, man, or masculine.
The term demiboy tells us about someone’s gender identity, but doesn’t convey any information about the sex or gender assigned to someone at birth.
A demiboy can identify as cisgender or trans.
Demigender
This umbrella term typically includes nonbinary gender identities and uses the prefix “demi-” to indicate the experience of having a partial identification or connection to a particular gender.
This may include:
- demigirl
- demiboy
- demienby
- demitrans
Demigirl
This nonbinary gender identity describes someone who partially identifies as a girl, woman, womxn, or feminine.
The term demigirl tells us about someone’s gender identity, but doesn’t convey any information about the sex or gender assigned to someone at birth.
A demigirl can also identify as cisgender or trans.
Dyadic
This describes people who have sex characteristics — such as chromosomes, hormones, internal organs, or anatomy — that can be easily categorized into the binary sex framework of male or female.
Dyadic conveys information about someone’s sex characteristics but doesn’t indicate anything about their gender.
Feminine-of-center
This describes people who identify their gender as feminine or femme.
Some feminine-of-center people also identify with the word woman, but others don’t.
The term feminine-of-center tells you about someone’s gender identity, but doesn’t convey any information about the sex or gender assigned to them at birth.
Feminine-presenting
This describes people who have a gender expression or presentation that they or others categorize as feminine.
Feminine-presenting is a term that captures the part of someone’s gender that’s shown externally, either through aspects of their style, appearance, physical traits, mannerisms, or body language.
This term doesn’t necessarily indicate anything about the way someone identifies their gender or the gender or sex assigned to them at birth.
Femme
This is a label for a gender identity or expression that describes someone with a gender that is or leans towards feminine.
Some femmes also identify as women, while many others don’t.
Femme indicates the way someone experiences or expresses their gender, and doesn’t provide any information about the gender or sex assigned to them at birth.
Female-to-male (FTM)
This term and acronym is most commonly used to refer to trans males, trans men, and some transmasculine people who were assigned female at birth.
It’s important to only use this term if someone prefers to be referred to this way, as some trans males, trans men, and transmasculine people use terms that don’t include or indicate the sex they were assigned at birth.
Gender apathetic
This term describes someone who doesn’t strongly identify with any gender or with any gender labels.
Some gender apathetic people also use terms that indicate their relationship with the sex or gender assigned to them at birth — such as cis apathetic or trans apathetic — while others don’t.
Generally, people who are gender apathetic display an attitude of flexibility, openness, and “not caring” about how gender identity or presentation is perceived and labeled by others.
Gender binary
Also known as gender binarism, this term refers to gender classification systems — whether cultural, legal, structural, or social — that organize gender or sex into two mutually exclusive categories such as male/female, man/woman, or masculine/feminine.
Gender dysphoria
This is both a medical diagnosis and informal term used to communicate challenging feelings or distress people experience in relation to gender.
The medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria refers to a conflict between someone’s assigned sex (as male, female, or intersex) and the gender with which they identify.
When used informally, gender dysphoria describes interactions, assumptions, physical traits, or body parts that don’t feel affirming or inclusive of someone’s expressed or experienced gender.
Gender expression
Gender expression is the way someone expresses gender through behavior, mannerisms, interests, physical characteristics, or appearance.
It’s often, but not always, described using terms such as masculine, feminine, neutral, androgynous, conforming, or nonconforming.
The words used to describe someone’s gender expression are dependent upon social or cultural norms and stereotypes and may change over time.
Gender identity
This is the way someone experiences gender internally as part of their core sense of self.
Gender identity can’t be assumed based on appearance, anatomy, social norms, or stereotypes.
Gender identity isn’t determined by assigned gender or sex, and often develops or changes over time.
Gender-neutral pronouns
These pronouns aren’t stereotypically or culturally categorized as male or female, masculine or feminine, or for men or women.
Gender-neutral pronouns are used by both cisgender and transgender individuals as a way to affirm and convey important information about who they are and how they want to be referred to.
Examples include:
- they/them/theirs
- ze/hir/hirs
- ze/zir/zirs
- xe/xem/xyrs
Gender nonconforming
This term is used to describe people with a gender expression or presentation that’s different from cultural or social stereotypes associated with the person’s perceived or assigned gender or sex.
Gender nonconforming isn’t a gender identity, though some people do self-identify using this term.
It doesn’t convey any information about the way someone experiences gender internally.
More accurately, gender nonconforming is a term used to describe physical traits in relation to socially and culturally defined gender categories.
People of any gender — cis, trans, or nonbinary — can be gender nonconforming.
Gender normative
A term used to describe gender traits or identities that are perceived to fall within social norms and expectations.
Gender presentation
Similar to gender expression, gender presentation refers to the way someone uses behavior, mannerisms, interests, physical characteristics, or appearance to convey or present a particular gender externally.
Gender questioning
A person who’s questioning one or multiple aspects of their gender, such as their gender identity or expression.
Gender roles
The interests, behaviors, and mannerisms that a society or culture assigns to a particular gender or to the things expected of a person based on their assigned, perceived, or actual gender.
Gender roles change over time and across cultures.
Gender variant
Similar to gender nonconforming, gender variant is an umbrella term used to describe people with a gender identity, expression, or presentation that’s different from the perceived social norm or dominant group.
Some people dislike this term because of its potential to perpetuate misinformation and negative stigma about noncisgender gender identities and nonconforming presentation being less normal or naturally occurring.
Genderfluid
This label is used to describe gender identity or expression.
It involves the experience of moving between genders or having a gender that changes over a particular period of time. For example, from moment to moment, day to day, month to month, year to year, or decade to decade.
Genderfuck
Similar to the term gender bender, genderfuck involves the act of combating or dismantling the gender binary and stereotypes through a gender identity, expression, or presentation that challenges existing norms and expectations in a given cultural context.
Genderqueer
This nonbinary gender identity and term describes someone with a gender that can’t be categorized as exclusively male or female, or exclusively masculine or feminine.
People who identify as genderqueer experience and express gender many different ways. This can include neither, both, or a combination of male, female, or nonbinary genders.
Graygender
A gender term that describes someone who experiences ambivalence about gender identity or expression, and doesn’t fully identify with a binary gender that’s exclusively male or female.
Intergender
A nonbinary gender identity that describes the experience of having a gender that falls somewhere in between female and male or is a mix of both male and female.
Intersex
An umbrella term that describes people who have sex characteristics — such as chromosomes, internal organs, hormones, or anatomy — that can’t be easily categorized into the binary sex framework of male or female.
Intersex conveys information about someone’s sex characteristics but doesn’t indicate anything about their gender identity.
Masculine-of-center
This term describes people who identify their gender as masculine or masc.
Some masculine-of-center people also identify with the word man, but many others don’t.
The term masculine-of-center tells you about someone’s gender identity, but doesn’t convey any information about the sex or gender assigned to them at birth.
Masculine-presenting
This term describes people who have a gender expression or presentation that they or others categorize as masculine.
Masculine-presenting captures the part of someone’s gender that’s shown externally, either through aspects of their style, appearance, physical traits, mannerisms, or body language.
This term doesn’t necessarily indicate anything about the way someone identifies their gender or the gender or sex assigned to them.
Maverique
This nonbinary gender identity emphasizes the inner experience of gender.
It describes those who experience gender or have a core gender identity that’s independent of existing categories and definitions of gender, such as male or female, man or woman, masculine or feminine, and androgynous or neutral.
Misgender
The act of referring to someone using a gender pronoun or gendered language that’s incorrect, inaccurate, or not inclusive of the person’s actual gender identity.
Male-to-female (MTF)
This term and acronym is most commonly used to refer to trans females, trans women, and some transfeminine people who were assigned male at birth.
It’s important to only use this term if someone prefers to be referred to this way, as some trans females, trans women, and some transfeminine people prefer to use terms that don’t include or overtly indicate the sex they were assigned at birth.
Multi-gender
This umbrella term is used to describe people who experience more than one gender identity.
Other gender labels that fall under the multi-gender umbrella include:
- bigender
- trigender
- pangender
- polygender
In some cases, “genderfluid” may also fall under this umbrella.
Neutrois
This nonbinary identity and umbrella term is used to describe people who have a gender that isn’t exclusively male or female.
Neutrois can be a broader term encompassing other gender identities, such as nonbinary, agender, genderfluid, or genderless.
Nonbinary
Also referred to as enby, this is a gender identity and umbrella term for gender identities that can’t be exclusively categorized as male or female.
Individuals who identify as nonbinary can experience gender a variety of ways, including a combination of male and female, neither male nor female, or something else altogether.
Some nonbinary individuals identify as trans, while many others don’t.
Whether a nonbinary person also identifies as trans is often dependent on the extent to which that person identifies, even partially, with the sex or gender assigned to them at birth.
Novigender
A gender identity used by people who experience having a gender that can’t be described using existing language due to its complex and unique nature.
Pangender
A nonbinary gender identity that describes people who experience all or many gender identities on the gender spectrum simultaneously or over time.
Polygender
This gender identity term describes the experience of having multiple gender identities, simultaneously or over time.
This term indicates the number of gender identities someone experiences, but doesn’t necessarily indicate which genders are included in the given person’s polygender identity.
Sex
The classification of a person as male, female, or intersex based on the existing system of organizing human bodies and biologies.
This system is based on chromosomes, hormones, internal and external reproductive organs, and secondary sex characteristics.
Sex assigned at birth
This refers to the act of assigning or designating a particular sex to a person based on their chromosomes, hormones, internal and external reproductive organs, and secondary sex characteristics.
This is often done by medical professionals during pregnancy or immediately after childbirth.
The sex a person is assigned at birth doesn’t determine or indicate anything about their authentic gender experience or identity.
Social dysphoria
A specific type of gender dysphoria that manifests as distress and discomfort that results from way society or other people perceive, label, refer to, or interact with someone’s gender or body.
Soft butch
Both a gender identity and term used to describe the nonconforming gender expression of someone who has some masculine or butch traits, but doesn’t fully fit the stereotypes associated with masculine or butch cisgender lesbians.
Stone butch
Both a gender identity and term used to describe the nonconforming gender expression of someone who embodies traits associated with female butchness or stereotypes associated with traditional masculinity.
Third gender
Originating in non-Western and native cultures, third gender is a gender category that includes people who have a gender that can’t be exclusively categorized as male or female, or is different from male or female.
Transfeminine
A gender identity label that conveys the experience of having a feminine gender identity that’s different from the gender or sex that was assigned at birth.
Transgender or trans
Both an umbrella term including many gender identities and a specific gender identity that describes those with a gender identity that’s different from the sex assigned at birth (male, female, or intersex).
Transmasculine
A gender identity label that conveys the experience of having a masculine gender identity that’s different than the gender or sex that was assigned at birth.
Transitioning
The act of making physical, social, medical, surgical, interpersonal, or personal changes that help to affirm gender or address gender dysphoria.
Transsexual
Falling under the transgender umbrella, transsexual is a word that was medically and historically used to indicate a difference between one’s gender identity (i.e., the internal experience of gender) and sex assigned at birth (as male, female, or intersex).
Transsexual is often (though not always) used to communicate that one’s experience of gender involves a medical diagnosis or medical changes — such as hormones or surgery — that help alter anatomy and appearance to feel more congruent with gender identity.
Due to a fraught history, the word transsexual can be contentious and shouldn’t be used unless someone specifically asks to be referred to this way.
Trigender
This gender identity describes the experience of having three gender identities, simultaneously or over time.
This term indicates the number of gender identities someone experiences, but doesn’t necessarily indicate which genders are included in a given person’s trigender identity.
Two-spirit
This umbrella term was created by native communities to bring traditional indigenous understandings of gender and sexuality into Western and contemporary native education and literature.
Each First Nation tribe has its own understanding and meaning of what it means to be two-spirit, so this term can have many definitions.
Two-spirit generally refers to a gender role believed to be a common, acknowledged, accepted, and praised gender classification among most First Nation communities, dating back centuries.
It’s amazing that gender — something many of us thought was a very simple concept — is actually so personal, nuanced, and complex. For that reason, it’s totally OK if this list is a lot to digest!
Just remember: Gender is an essential part of health and well-being for everyone.
Becoming familiar with language that helps you to talk about this part of identity and society is a great way to care for yourself and be an ally to others.
Mere Abrams is a researcher, writer, educator, consultant, and licensed clinical social worker who reaches a worldwide audience through public speaking, publications, social media (@meretheir), and gender therapy and support services practice onlinegendercare.com. Mere uses their personal experience and diverse professional background to support individuals exploring gender and help institutions, organizations, and businesses to increase gender literacy and identify opportunities to demonstrate gender inclusion in products, services, programs, projects, and content.
What’s the Difference Between Sex and Gender?
Most of us have been raised with pretty simplistic ideas about sex and gender. Namely, that there are two sexes, male and female, and that they align with two genders, man and woman.
But with the increased visibility of transgender, gender non-conforming, and nonbinary folks, many people are beginning to understand that the categories of sex and gender are far more complicated.
In this article, we’ll break down the difference between sex and gender to give you a better idea of what each of these terms really mean.
Society typically tells us that there are two sexes: male and female. You may also be familiar with the fact that some people are intersex, or have a difference of sexual development (DSD).
DSD is used to describe chromosomes, anatomy, or sex characteristics that can’t be categorized as exclusively male or female.
As with names and pronouns, it’s important to refer to people in the manner that they prefer. Some people are comfortable with the term “intersex” and use it to describe themselves. Others have moved away from using this term and refer to their condition as a DSD.
With some research reporting that as many as
Genitalia
Some believe genitals determine sex, with males having penises and females having vaginas.
However, this definition excludes some people with a DSD.
It can also invalidate trans people who are non-operative — those who don’t want to have bottom surgery — or pre-operative.
For example, a transgender man — a person who was assigned female at birth and identifies as a man — may have a vagina but still identify as male.
Chromosomes
We’re typically taught that people with XX chromosomes are female and people with XY chromosomes are male.
This excludes folks with a DSD who may have different chromosomal configurations or other differences in sexual development.
It also doesn’t account for the fact that trans people often have chromosomes that don’t “match” their sex. A transgender woman, for example, can be female but still have XY chromosomes.
Primary sex characteristics
We tend to associate a predominance of estrogen with females and a predominance of testosterone with males. It’s important to understand that every person has both of these hormones.
In fact, estradiol, the predominant form of estrogen, is critical to
Although hormone replacement therapy is an option for trans and gender non-conforming people, a trans man who isn’t on hormones, for example, isn’t any less male than one who is.
Secondary sex characteristics
Many secondary sex characteristics are easily identifiable. This includes facial hair, breast tissue, and vocal range.
Because of this, they’re often used to make quick assessments about sex.
But secondary sex characteristics vary greatly, regardless of whether someone identifies with the sex they were assigned at birth.
Take facial hair, for example. Some people who were assigned female at birth may go on to develop facial hair, and some who were assigned male at birth may not grow any at all.
Society has traditionally taught us that there are two genders: man and woman. We’re told that those who are assigned male at birth are men and those who are assigned female at birth are women.
But gender isn’t an either/or scenario. It’s a spectrum.
Although a majority of people in our society do identify as men or women, there’s a wide range of possibilities between and beyond the two.
Some people identify as nonbinary, an umbrella term for people whose gender identities don’t align with the man-woman binary.
Others identify as bigender, meaning they identify as both men and women at varying points, or agender, meaning they don’t identify with any gender.
Many non-Western cultures have a long history of welcoming third-gender, non-gendered, and transgender people in society. This includes the Two-Spirit folks from Indigenous American cultures and Hijra in South Asian cultures.
Gender and sex can be related for some.
The expectation that if you’re assigned male at birth, you’re a man, and that if you’re assigned female at birth, you’re a woman, lines up for people who are cisgender.
But for people who are trans and gender non-conforming, the sex they’re assigned at birth may not align with the gender they know themselves to be. They may identify with a different sex than what they were assigned at birth.
Ultimately, the concepts of gender and sex are socially constructed. This means that we as a society assign sex and gender to people based on socially agreed-upon characteristics.
This doesn’t mean that body parts and functions are “made up” — it just means that the way we categorize and define each of these things could actually be different.
People often like to separate gender and sex by saying things like “gender is in the brain” and “sex is in the pants.” Although accepting someone as their correct gender is a good first step, beliefs like these can actually be harmful to trans people.
When trans people are understood to be the sex they were assigned at birth — and not the sex they truly are — it can have a significant impact on their physical, mental, and emotional health.
For example, this can make it difficult to obtain fundamental rights, such as healthcare, and even access to basic necessities, such as public bathrooms.
Gender identity is your own personal understanding of your gender and how you want the world to see you.
For many cisgender people, gender identity is automatically respected.
When most people encounter a normative cisgender man, they treat him as a man. This means acknowledging his autonomy and using the correct pronouns — he/him/his — when addressing him.
It’s important to treat everyone with this level of respect.
Instead of making assumptions about how a person identifies, check in with the people you meet about their gender identity. Offer up your pronouns and ask what pronouns they use — and then use them.
Someone who is nonbinary, for example, may want you to use gender neutral pronouns like they/them/theirs and avoid gendered language like pretty or handsome.
We all have something known as a gender expression. Many people associate women with having a feminine gender expression and men with having a masculine gender expression.
But as with gender identity, gender expression is a spectrum. Femininity and masculinity may be the bookmarks, but there are countless points in between — and they’re open to anyone.
In Western cultures, stereotypically feminine traits include nurturing or caring for others, emotional vulnerability, and an overall docile demeanor.
Stereotypically masculine traits include the need to act as a protector, engaging in competitive or aggressive behavior, and a high libido.
Most of us possess both masculine and feminine traits. This means that someone who considers themself to have a fairly normative gender identity can still fall closer towards the middle in terms of gender expression.
For example, a cisgender woman can have a more masculine gender expression but still identify as a woman.
Sexual orientation has very little to do with your gender identity. It’s solely about who you’re attracted to.
People of all gender identities may identify as straight or as somewhere on the LGBQ+ spectrum.
Popular misconceptions
While many folks mistakenly believe that trans people transition in order to have more normative, heterosexual relationships, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
In fact, according to the 2015 U.S. Trans Survey from the National Center for Transgender Equality, only 15 percent of respondents identified as heterosexual.
It may be true that there is a prevalence of people who are gay, lesbian, queer, or bisexual and are also gender non-conforming, but there’s no direct correlation.
Although there are thriving butch and femme cultures in queer communities, the gender identity and expression of butch or femme individuals is about their gender — not who they’re attracted to.
Historical basis
Before the term “transgender” gained momentum in the 1970s, many folks had to make sense of their gender identity through the only concept that was available: sexual orientation.
Although we now know and understand that a person’s gender is independent of their sexual orientation, the language distinguishing between sex, gender, and sexual orientation has to be learned in order to be used.
For example, before I knew that transgender men existed, I thought I was a lesbian. I was attracted to women, and I was told by society that I was a woman, so this made sense to me.
It wasn’t until I realized that I was transgender that I was able to separate my gender from my sexual orientation. When I did, I found that my sexual orientation was actually much more fluid.
Today, I’m a feminine nonbinary person who identifies as queer.
As we’ve seen here, sex and gender are far more complicated than many of us were raised to believe.
The most important thing to remember is that it’s up to each individual to determine their gender, and indeed, sex.
The best thing you can do is respect the sex and gender identity of the people you encounter and treat each individual you meet with sensitivity and care.
KC Clements is a queer, nonbinary writer based in Brooklyn, NY. Their work deals with queer and trans identity, sex and sexuality, health and wellness from a body positive standpoint, and much more. You can keep up with them by visiting their website, or finding them on Instagram and Twitter.
Sexuality has to do with the way you identify, how you experience sexual and romantic attraction (if you do), and your interest in and preferences around sexual and romantic relationships and behavior.
Who your sexual or romantic partner is at a given moment in time doesn’t necessarily define this part of who you are. Sexuality can be fluid — changing in different situations for some, and over the years for others.
Observing patterns in sexual and romantic attraction, behavior, and preferences over time is one way to better understand your sexual identity or romantic orientation.
Familiarizing yourself with language that describes different types of sexual and romantic feelings and orientations will help you, your partners, and your friends navigate and understand the many ways people experience and identify their sexuality.
Allosexual
A word and category describing those who experience sexual attraction. Use of this term helps to normalize the experience of being asexual and provides a more specific label to describe those who aren’t part of the asexual community.
Allosexism
This refers to norms, stereotypes, and practices in society that operate under the assumption that all human beings experience, or should experience, sexual attraction.
Allosexism grants privilege to those who experience attraction and leads to prejudice against and erasure of asexual people.
Androsexual
A term used to communicate sexual or romantic attraction to men, males, or masculinity. This term intentionally includes attraction to those who identify as men, male, or masculine, regardless of biology, anatomy, or sex assigned at birth.
Asexual
Asexual identity or orientation includes individuals who don’t experience sexual attraction to others of any gender.
Also referred to as “aces,” some people who are asexual do experience romantic attraction to people of one or multiple genders.
Aromantic
A romantic orientation the describes people who experience little or no romantic attraction, regardless of sex or gender.
Autosexual
A person who’s sexually attracted to themselves. Someone’s desire to engage in sexual behavior such as masturbation doesn’t determine whether they’re autosexual.
Autoromatic
A romantic orientation that describes a person who’s romantically attracted to themselves. Those who identify as autoromatic often report experiencing the relationship they have with themselves as romantic.
Bicurious
This refers to people who are questioning or exploring bisexuality, which typically includes curiosity about one’s romantic or sexual attraction to people of the same or different genders.
Bisexual
A sexual orientation that describes those who experience sexual, romantic, or emotional attractions to people of more than one gender.
Also referred to as “bi,” bisexual typically includes individuals who are attracted to a variety of people, with genders that are similar to and different than their own.
Biromantic
Those who experience romantic attraction, but not sexual attraction, to individuals of more than one gender.
Closeted
Closeted, also referred to as “in the closet,” describes people in the LGBTQIA+ community who don’t publicly or openly share their sexual identity, sexual attraction, sexual behavior, gender expression, or gender identity.
Closeted is often understood as the opposite of “out,” and refers to the metaphorical hidden or private place a LBGTQIA+ person comes from in the process of making decisions about disclosing gender and sexuality.
Some individuals may be out in certain communities but closeted in others, due to fear of discrimination, mistreatment, rejection, or violence.
Coming out
A phrase that refers to the process of being open about one’s sexuality and gender. For many LGBTQIA+ people, “coming out” isn’t a one-time event, but a process and series of moments and conversations.
Also described as coming out of the closet, this process can include:
- sharing about a same-gender or similar gender sexual or romantic attraction or experience
- identifying as LGBTQIA+
- disclosing one’s specific gender identity, gender expression, or sexual or romantic orientation
Some LGBTQIA+ people decide to keep their sexuality, gender, or intersex status private, while others decide to share these things with loved ones, acquaintances, or the public.
The process of coming out or the state of being out is a source of self-acceptance and pride for many (but not all) LGBTQIA+ individuals.
However, it’s important to remember that each person’s coming out experience is different, and the act of coming out can be hard and emotional.
The decision to come out is deeply personal. Each person should make decisions about disclosing sexuality and gender in their own time and manner.
Cupiosexual
Cupiosexual describes asexual people who don’t experience sexual attraction but still have the desire to engage in sexual behavior or a sexual relationship.
Demisexual
On the asexual spectrum, this sexual orientation describes individuals who experience sexual attraction only under specific circumstances, such as after building a romantic or emotional relationship with a person.
Demiromantic
This romantic orientation describes individuals who experience romantic attraction only under specific circumstances, such as after building an emotional relationship with a person.
Fluid
This terms refers to the fact that sexuality, sexual attraction, and sexual behavior can change over time and be dependent on the situation.
It’s used to describe those who experience shifts in their sexuality, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior in different situations or throughout the course of their lifetime. You may hear someone describe their sexuality as “fluid.”
Gay
A term that describes individuals who experience sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to people of the same or a similar gender.
Some gay-identified women prefer the term lesbian, while others prefer queer or gay. It’s also best to ask which word or term someone uses to describe themselves.
The fields of medicine and psychology previously referred to this sexual orientation as homosexual. Homosexual is now viewed as an outdated and offensive term and shouldn’t be used to refer to LGBTQIA+ individuals.
Graysexual
Graysexual is a term used to acknowledge the gray area on the sexuality spectrum for people who don’t explicitly and exclusively identify as asexual or aromantic.
Many people who identify as graysexual do experience some sexual attraction or desire, but perhaps not at the same level or frequency as those who identify their sexuality as being completely outside of the asexual spectrum.
Grayromantic
A romantic orientation that describes individuals whose romantic attraction exists in the gray area between romantic and aromantic.
Many people who identify as grayromantic do experience some romantic attraction, but perhaps not at the same level or frequency as those who identify their sexuality or romantic orientation as something other than asexual.
Gynesexual
A term used to communicate sexual or romantic attraction to women, females, or femininity.
This term intentionally includes attraction to those who identify as women, female, or feminine, regardless of biology, anatomy, or the sex assigned at birth.
Heterosexual
A term that describes people who experience sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to people of the “opposite” gender (e.g. male vs. female, man vs. woman) or a different gender.
Both cisgender and transgender identified people can be heterosexual. This sexual orientation category is commonly described as straight.
Homosexual
An outdated term rooted in the fields of medicine and psychology that refers to individuals who experience sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to people of the same or a similar gender.
Lesbian
A woman or female-identified person who experiences sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to people of the same or a similar gender.
Some women who are lesbians may also refer to themselves as gay or queer, while others prefer the label lesbian.
LGBTQIA+
The acronym that often describes individuals who don’t identify as exclusively heterosexual or exclusively cisgender.
The letters in the LGBTQIA+ acronym stand for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, and asexual.
The + symbol in LGBTQIA+ refers to the fact that there are many sexual orientations and gender identities that are part of the broader LGBTQIA community, but aren’t included as part of the acronym.
Libidoist asexual
A term used to describe an asexual person who experiences sexual feelings that are satisfied through self-stimulation or masturbation.
This label acknowledges that, for some people, acting on libido or sexual feelings doesn’t necessarily involve sexual behavior with others.
Monosexual
A broad sexual orientation category that includes people who experience romantic or sexual attraction to people of one sex or gender. Monosexuality typically includes those who are exclusively heterosexual, gay, or lesbian.
Non-libidoist asexual
Referring to an identity on the asexuality spectrum, a non-libidoist asexual is someone who doesn’t experience any sexual feelings or have an active sex drive.
Omnisexual
Omnisexual is similar to pansexual and can be used to describe individuals whose sexuality isn’t limited to people of a particular gender, sex, or sexual orientation.
Pansexual
A term that describes individuals who can experience sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to any person, regardless of that person’s gender, sex, or sexuality.
Panromantic
A term that describes individuals who can experience romantic, or emotional (but not sexual) attraction to any person, regardless of that person’s gender, sex, or sexuality.
Polysexual
A term that describes individuals with a sexual orientation that involves sexual or romantic attraction to people with varying genders. Polysexual orientations include bisexuality, pansexuality, omnisexuality, and queer, among many others.
Pomosexual
A term (not necessarily an identity) used to refer to those who reject sexuality labels or don’t identify with any of them.
Passing
Passing refers to society’s perceptions and assumptions of someone’s sexuality or gender.
Specifically, this term is most commonly used to discuss the frequency and extent to which an LGBTQIA+ person is perceived as or assumed to be straight or cisgender.
It’s important to note that some LGBTQIA+ people have the desire to pass while others do not. In fact, the act of being perceived as straight or cisgender can be a source of discomfort and discrimination for some in the LGBTQIA+ community.
Queer
An umbrella term that describes individuals who aren’t exclusively heterosexual. The term queer (the Q in LBGTQIA+), acknowledges that sexuality is a spectrum as opposed to a collection of independent and mutually exclusive categories.
Use of the word queer opens up options beyond lesbian, gay, and bisexual to individuals who don’t fit neatly into these categories or prefer a category that isn’t dependent on sex and gender.
While this term once had negative and derogatory connotations, queer has resurfaced as a common and socially acceptable way for LGBTQIA+ individuals to refer to themselves and their community.
Despite its growing use, some people still have negative associations with the word queer and don’t like to be referred to in this way. Queer, like all terms describing sexuality, should be used sensitively and respectfully.
Questioning
The process of being curious about or exploring some aspect of sexuality or gender. Questioning can also be used as an adjective to describe someone who’s currently exploring their sexuality or gender.
Romantic attraction
The experience of having an emotional response that results in the desire for a romantic, but not necessarily sexual, relationship or interaction with another person or oneself.
Some people experience romantic attraction but don’t experience sexual attraction.
Romantic orientation
Romantic orientation is an aspect of self and identity that involves:
- how you identify
- the way you experience romantic desire (if you do)
- the gender(s) or sex(es) of the people who someone engages in romantic relationships with (if any)
- the gender(s) or sex(es) of the people someone is romantically attracted to (if any)
Sapiosexual
A word used to describe those who experience attraction based on intelligence, rather than sex or gender.
Sexual attraction
Sexual attraction refers to experiencing sexual desire or arousal in relation to another person or group of people.
Sex-averse
Sex-averse describes those who are asexual and are averse to or extremely disinterested in sex or sexual behavior.
Sex-favorable
On the spectrum of asexuality, sex-favorable is viewed as the “opposite” of sex-repulsed and describes those who are asexual, and in certain situations can have favorable or positive feelings toward sex.
Sex-indifferent
Sex-indifferent describes those who are asexual and feel indifferent or neutral about sex or sexual behavior.
Sexual orientation or sexuality
Sexual orientation or sexuality is an aspect of self that involves:
- how you identify
- the way you experience sexual or romantic desire (if you do)
- the gender(s) or sex(es) of the people who someone engages in sexual or romantic activity with (if any)
- the gender(s) or sex(es) of the people someone is attracted to (if any)
Sexuality can change over the course of someone’s life and in different situations. It’s understood to be a spectrum instead of a series of mutually exclusive categories.
Sex-repulsed
Similar to sex-averse, sex-repulsed is on the spectrum of asexuality and describes those who are asexual and are repulsed by or extremely disinterested in sex or sexual behavior.
Skoliosexual
A sexual orientation that describes those who are sexually attracted to people with non-cisgender gender identities, such as people who are nonbinary, genderqueer, or trans.
Spectrasexual
A term that describes people who are sexually or romantically attracted to multiple or varied sexes, genders, and gender identities — but not necessarily all or any.
Straight
Also known as heterosexual, straight describes people who experience sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to individuals of the “opposite” gender (e.g. male vs. female, man vs. woman) or a different gender.
People who identify as cisgender and transgender can be straight.
It’s okay to feel unsure or overwhelmed by all of the labels we now have to describe sexual and romantic orientation, attraction, and behavior.
Expanding the language you use to describe your sexuality can provide important guidance, validation, and access to community while on your journey of sexual self-discovery and satisfaction.
Mere Abrams is a researcher, writer, educator, consultant, and licensed clinical social worker who reaches a worldwide audience through public speaking, publications, social media (@meretheir), and gender therapy and support services practice onlinegendercare.com. Mere uses their personal experience and diverse professional background to support individuals exploring gender and help institutions, organizations, and businesses to increase gender literacy and identify opportunities to demonstrate gender inclusion in products, services, programs, projects, and content.
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